I try not to loiter around the Pipl site because of the temptation to virtual-stalk someone (damn that deep web), but I promised myself this one time that I would just look myself up, to see what others might find about me. Not much apparently but I was drawn to a special feature called 5 Facts About Social Networking Sites. It’s a short and sweet survey of the most popular social networking sites (I’ll give you a hint which one is the most popular: it rhymes with ’schmy schpace’).
The one fact that particularly struck me was the fact regardless of the gender stats, the females tended to be younger while the males tended to be older…. Kinda creepy??? I imagine smarmy, 40- or 50-year old, suburban, white collar dudes, sneaking away to the computer to check out really naive, 14-year old girls, but only after they’ve put their kids to bed and while their wife takes a bath in their master bath. But in general, older guys and younger women? A little unsettling, to say the least.
But I too have got a few things to note that I’ve discovered about social networking sites. Nothing scientific or even remotely researched but I think most people would pick up on these anyway:
- Unless you’ve actually met them, your ‘friends’ aren’t actually real friends. I don’t care how many deeply personal IM sessions you’ve shared (guilty!) or how many emails you’ve exchanged; it wouldn’t even matter that much more if actually spoke to this person over the phone, internet, land, or cell – a friendship connection is a novelty at best until you meet that person. So, fuck your 2,785 friends – how many have you actually met? And no, I’m not jealous. Not at all, not at all ::taps fingers uncomfortably:: …..
- People lie in their profiles. I know that isn’t much of a revelation but it’s so easy to fall into the whole social networking phenomenon – you become more inclined to believe someone’s profile. I’m not saying everyone lies all the time about everything but it’s only human nature: if given the opportunity, people will fib about something. It doesn’t matter if it’s their bio or simply altered photographs they’ve taken of themselves: take everything, even images, with a grain of salt (not mine though – I really do have ginormous boobs and I really was voted Time’s Man of the Year for 1985).
- Any tool offered by a social network site that allows you to view who’s viewed your profile can be depressing. If you ever find yourself lonely and bored, be careful not to check any such function, if at all, because you are bound to be disappointed. The person or people you’d like to find you or check you out, usually won’t and don’t. Seeing it on-screen only makes it more serious. So just don’t even look, if you don’t want to find yourself questioning the pointlessness of your existence.
- The messages left through social network sites are meant to be short and brief so you’re not going to get a whole lot of honesty or erudition there. And if someone prefers to talk to you through the messaging function on a social network site, be warned: they apparently don’t think you’re even worth a personal email. It sucks but think about it. If you just want to be friends, this is cool, but for a lot of people, more is desired (umm, not me).
- Rarely are social networking sites a great place to anticipate any in-person, live-action meetings or activities. Besides those sex freaks who set up meetings online, you almost never get the feeling that your ‘friends’ and you will actually go out and do something together. Which is disappointing because you want to make all these connections only to find that these connections exist or have greater weight online rather than in real life. Manuvering through these sites is almost like playing a weird Sims-like computer game: the characters may interact with you but only online – it’s almost as if the people aren’t even real.
So there are my quasi-facts about social networking. And no! Alot of these are not rooted in deep, painful, personal experiences of rejection online. No, not at all, absolutely not, I’m totally happy. 
…Anyway I have one or two accounts still active on a couple social networking sites though I’m not going anywhere near them. I’m so suspicious of social networking. I don’t know what to think. I just know they make me uncomfortable. Hmm.
